5 Step – No Exercise, No Stress Diet
No exercise, relax, lose some weight, my way.
I’m happy to say, my diet worked. I had originally planned to write this blog post about 4 months ago. Then I realized. How am I supposed to write a blog post on losing weight when I haven’t even lost the weight yet?
So, I took some time to prove this worked, took some before and after photos and you know what?
You’ll be amazed ladies and gentlemen, for I am one skinny ‘fella right about now. In fact, I lost a total of 30 pounds, but not to brag or anything let’s continue..
Hold on. Wait. If you can’t sit through the explanation of why this works and all the little kinks of how-to, I’ll have a section for outlining the entire diet at the end of this post, so scroll-down lazypants. Prepare to lose at least 10 pounds…
Why did I go on this diet?
I’m around 5’7” and I’ve had abs before. Last time I was ripped I weighed somewhere in the range of 145 pounds and had around 7% body fat.
Not bad huh? So I knew that in order for me to have abs, it wasn’t necessarily about the crunches I did. I mean, you can have abs with 20% body fat, but you’re going to have to learn to looooove the gym. Maybe it’s just me and my new-found freedom. I equate the feeling I have running on a treadmill with the same feeling a mouse must have using his spinning wheel. I refuse to be caged! Even at a restaurant, I’ll choose the bar over a booth, this beautiful jail they call a booth, preventing me from engaging unattached women in sexually liberating interactions. I won’t stand for it! I need to be amongst the people. Revolution! Anyways, back to my point.
I reached 150 pounds after starting at 180 pounds. Here are some impromptu photos I took of the scale at the grocery store.
Of course, I haven’t got pictures of exactly the drop from 180 to 150 (see: impromptu), but I hope you get the idea.
How did I create this diet?
I’ve gained and lost weight before. In fact, I played some football in high school, so I understand what it takes to commit to something. Yet, as I touched on earlier the last time I was ripped, it was super hard. And, since it was so hard to get to that point, it took me only one month to lose my abs. 
Here’s what my old plan was, and maybe you can understand why it was so hard to keep the weight off back then.
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Old Diet Plan
(do not use this diet plan, it works, but my point is to show you, that it’s too hard)
I would eat within one hour of waking up. Eating within an hour of waking up was said to keep your metabolism going. Then I would eat 5 meals a day all within about 3 hours of each other. Jeez, I spent a lot of timing eating. I would track what I would eat and carried around a small notepad to check off the food groups I ate and I would estimate how many calories I consumed a day. Oh, gawd I wasted time with stupid calculations. Also, I did not eat past 8 pm, because it was also said that after 8 pm your metabolism won’t burn the food you consumed. Too many restrictions. Also I had a work-out regiment that spanned over 5 days a week and I was taking diet pills! … I think you get it. Way too hard, way too much to think about, the diet pills had too much caffeine and I would become way too jittery for my own liking, but it worked… at least until I couldn’t take it anymore. As soon as I ended the routine I gained all the weight back. Whomp Whomp.
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Ok, now I want to present you with a new way of thinking. Everything I do in my life is about being efficient. To me that means being able to do the least amount of work possible and still get the highest amount of results possible. That’s called being efficient. Using your head to save your legs. An old boss of mine told me that we should strive for moving at optimum speed rather than maximum speed. Instead of tiring yourself out, why not make it easy for you and still get the same results. I’m for ‘em!
So how does that same philosophy of efficiency translate into dieting? Well how about a diet that requires no exercise, minimal and effortless tracking and can fit your lifestyle… the only con would be explaining your weird eating habits to your friends.
No Exercise, No Stress Diet.
I wanted to create something, that was easy to manage. That you didn’t have to put much thought to. Yet, you will still have to put some effort into a few things, which we will touch on later. Like, remember to keep track of the days that you do CHEAT on your diet, keep track of your current weight, your target weight and your before/after photos.
Ok before we get into the ‘how-to’ of this post, let’s go over some of what led to me gaining all this weight and why I decided to shed the pounds. As you know, 145 was my target weight and I started at 180 pounds.
At 180 pounds I felt tired, lazy and I didn’t feel attractive, that’s for damn sure. Yeah sure, when I got a few drinks in me I could care less, but reality was that I wouldn’t even let women touch my belly because I was so embarrassed. Even worse, all my cool clothes didn’t fit. I seriously reached the point of having nothing to wear but basketball shorts and t-shirts. How was I suppose to live? I don’t know exactly how I gained the weight, but it was a culmination of things. And people do this all time. Of course, it was me not paying attention to what I put in my body. I ate a lot. I was traveling, so that also served as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted.
Now, don’t worry if you live a nomadic lifestyle. You can still execute this diet perfectly, it’s why I made it so easy to think about. I executed this while living in the same place for 4 months but once I get back on the road it’ll still be easy to subscribe to this diet because I managed to still eat out or binge on gas station snacks without jeopardizing my diet.
Now, there will be some restrictions. That’s just the cost of being sexy. I think it’s an even exchange. I believe it was Kate Moss who said – “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” And trust me, I feel a whole lot better now.
As I touched on already, there will be no need for exercise. I believe it was Mike Geary who said “Abs are made in the kitchen”. It was me who said “It’s amazing what your body can do once you get out of it’s way”. Feel free to print that in the papers 
No Exercise, No Stress Diet – How-To
No Carbs
Some of you may be familiar with low-carb diets. The idea here is that the body will go into what we call ketosis. What happens after a few days without any carbs is that your body will instead of using carbs as it’s energy source will start to use and burn fat. So, think about it like this. Your body burns energy (somewhere around 100 calories an hour) watching TV. That energy is your body burning its carbs.
Well, if you haven’t had any carbs for a few days, (that’s why it’s best to have No Carbs) it will instead be burning fat instead of carbs. So, what is happening is that, you can sit and watch TV and lose weight as long as you haven’t had any carbs for a few days.
Pretty cool huh? Another great thing about this, is that you don’t have to worry about your fat intake. Most diets call for you to eat low-fat, low-sugar substitutes of your favorite foods. Well, not this diet. You can eat as many fatty foods as you want as long as your daily intake of carbs are under 40 grams. To burn fat even faster keep your carb intake under 20 grams. In the first week you might lose 5 pounds immediately. But, remember it’s all about time and sometimes you might not lose any weight, just stick to it. It’s about time, not about effort here. The effort should be focused on creating new eating habits.
You shouldn’t even have to be completely obsessive about counting carbs. You can estimate this easier by eating less meals a day. Which we will go over later.
One last thing to consider is that, I did not exercise. At all. So, I wouldn’t suggest exercise, because with the lack of carbs I wouldn’t know how that will affect your energy and you might just feel horrible if you decide to start exercising while decreasing your carb intake by so much.
No Carb Eating Habits
Say NO to all starches. You’ll have to forget about breads, potatoes, rice, cereal, pastas, and breaded fried food, which seem to go with most meals. Even though only one serving of a given starch may only have 20 grams of carbs (which doesn’t exceed your daily carb limit) it’s still best to not allow yourself to indulge in carbs at all. Carbs are known to release certain chemicals in your brain, which usually result in increased cravings and bingeing compulsions. Save these starches for your Cheat Day buddy or you’ll have an earlier Cheat Day than planned. And don’t worry, even if you do have a spontaneous Cheat Day (which I have yet to cover, which might explain your confusion) don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m actually writing this post now after waking up from a cheat day induced food coma myself.
No Dairy
That’s not so hard to think about. Cheese, yogurt, milk and ice cream. Yet, this food group is the one I am most lenient about. Because the only reason you are restricted from this food group is because the way your body digests the milk sugar (lactose) in these products can be counted for as carbs. But, if you read the labels you can see most of them don’t have any carbs accounted for anyways. So, for most of the time, stay away from this food group, yet allow yourself to indulge in some fine cheese (or other dairy products) 2-3 times a week (don’t count it as a Cheat Day), just be aware enough to not allow yourself to over do it. This shouldn’t be too hard to think about, and don’t beat yourself up about it. But remember: if your weight loss is plateauing, (typically on those last 10 pounds) then dairy products should be cut out completely at least until you reach your target weight.
No Fruit
What? No fruit? Yeah, sorry dude. No fruit. In the most popular of low carb diets, fruits are to be cut out completely. If you want to google it, go ahead, but here’s a little more persuasion. Our european ancestors would go 3 quarters of a year without fruit because they weren’t in season. To all my Floridian friends – yeah, in some places it does snow. Fruits are not essential to the human diet. So cut them out at least until you reach your goal or go ahead a binge on fruits during your required cheat day.
Yes Protein
Finally some eating options. I say Yes to all kind of meats, seafood, chicken, eggs etc. I say Yes to them all. Even if they are high in fat. Go ahead enjoy.
But of course you can be a bit more restrictive and go for leaner cuts of meat, but this is my favorite part of the diet. The fact that I can still go to a brazilian steakhouse buffet and stuff my face full of Picanha. (worth experiencing)
Yes Fat
Fats would include things other diets plead you avoid. Avocados, nuts, peanut butter, beans, sauces etc. If they are not starches, have low-to-no carbs, are high in fiber, are not fruits or dairy then it’s all good with me.
Side note: Fiber is great for a low-carb diet. If you start eating a lot of protein you might experience some constipation. This is normal. Fiber works to correct that. You can lose a few pounds within a day of adding fiber to your low-carb diet.
Yes Veggies
Veggies are awesome. Now, I actually went without veggies for a week or two. I mean c’mon man, they really suck. Unless I was putting cheese on them (that’s totally okay, cheese can be considered a sauce) then I just couldn’t manage getting my veggie grub on. But! I have found a new way to enjoy veggies. Don’t worry Kevo’s got your back
You can follow the link above to get the recipe I use to create Garlic Butter. Now, I’m no expert chef, but what I do know is what tastes good. Once I learned this recipe the vegetables I eat taste 10x better than the teriyaki chicken I make. Seriously. I can eat carrots like bugs bunny. Probably don’t look as cool but here’s what I do. I throw some garlic butter in a frying pan. Toss in some frozen vegetables. Drop some more garlic butter on top of the vegetables and let them cook. Try ‘em. They are delicious. Delicious.
If you spent some time looking up proper recipes, then you can enjoy some of the most amazing meals at home. I haven’t found interest in looking up and trying new recipes, I stick to pretty basic cooking, but I’m sure in the next few months I will try some new and exciting recipes. Luckily for me, I could eat almost the same thing everyday and I won’t get bored as long as I’m losing weight. So figure out if variety is important to you. If so, please share in the comments section below what new recipes you have discovered.
Sauces
Don’t skimp on the sauces. Sauces are going to be your savior. You might find yourself eating the same plethora of protein. Yet, remember what it is like to eat out. At restaurants all dishes are cooked in or come with an accompanying sauce. Shop around and see what kind of tastes you like to add to your proteins in order to fulfill our tastebuds’ passion for variety. It makes it easier to even skip a cheat day completely (which you won’t need to). The only sauce I would concern you to be restrictive with is BBQ sauce. It tends to have a whole lost of carbs per serving, but remember, don’t beat yourself up about it, if you indulge from time to time, don’t count it as a cheat day (a bit like the dairy guidelines).
Eating Out.
Say you are on the run. What to do? You’ve only got a few bucks and can only afford the time and money to stop at the gas station or your local fast-food chain.
Gas stations are easy. Slim-Jims are no carb. All nuts are allowed (I suggest trying some new flavors). Salt & Vinegar almonds satisfy any cravings that seem only the biggest bag of potato chips can handle. Opt for the almonds. Also, I know this sounds crazy, but you can have pork rinds. They seriously have no carbs.
There are also some great dips out there that you can check out, spinach dips and the like. An odd of enough snack can be pork rinds and spinach dip (yeah, I know). But, it doesn’t effect your carb intake at all.
Concerning fast-food, we all know they are lacking in nutrients. Yet, you’ve got to eat, right Speedy Gonzalez? I like burgers. If I order a burger or two I just make sure to not eat the bun. Yeah it’s a bit messy, but it’s worth it, and I promise you won’t want the buns once you eat all the veggies and protein inside. Just trash the buns, no one likes them anyways.
Eating-out? A few of my favorite meals are BBQ Ribs or Fajitas. You can eat ribs, it’s totally cool, just ask for veggies in place of the starchy sides that tend to go with these dishes. As far as Fajitas go, just dump all the sauces on your protein and don’t touch the tortillas. It’s just as filling and even more satisfying when you know you are losing weight. I’m sure you can figure out other methods of skipping on carbs totally when eating out. Oh yeah, another great appetizer are non-breaded chicken wings. They are filling, taste great and as long as they are not breaded, munch away. nom nom nom.
Drinking
I’m a drinker. Unfortunately, beer has too many carbs to indulge in. Somewhere around 10 grams of carbs a serving. Same thing with wine. But, I don’t mind having a glass or two of wine (but no more than 3), I’m not going to beat myself up about that. I mean, if you are cutting out all other carbs then I couldn’t see why a glass of wine would hurt.
I think your psychology here is most important. If you completely cut out everything you like, than it’s going to be hard to keep this diet going for long. It’s all about time here, and the longer you go on this diet, the more weight you will lose.
But, I do drink a lot when I’m going out to the bars. So, to keep up on my diet I’ll drink Whiskey Neat. All spirits as far as I know, have no carbs at all. So as long as you’re not using mixers than you can drink as much liquor as you want.
Now, if you do want to use a mixer opt for diet coke. Diet coke has no carbs. At all. Whiskey and diet coke has become a usual for me while having to give up my staple gin & tonic (tonic has 20 grams per serving, yikes!)
As far as none alcoholic beverages go, remember to stay away from carbs. Diet drinks are mostly carb-free. Check out crystal light in order to add flavor to your water. Which you should be having 8 servings a day of to stay hydrated.
If you ever have any doubts on what you can and can’t have, you can always quickly google on your smart phone the carb count for just about anything (given you have a smartphone).
If you have any questions concerning my irreverent style of diet, please comment. The point here is to not have to worry so much over serving sizings or counting carbs, I want you to be at the point where you can guesstimate your carb intake and still properly lose weight.
Look, I’m not the kind of guy who has ever been naturally thin. I have always been a bit chubby growing up. So, if you are overweight, don’t think you can’t do this too.
Keep on this diet regimen for at least 1 month. Then, you can try something else. I’m not a doctor. I just know what has worked for me.
Here’s the most flattering picture of me at 180 pounds.
Here is a picture of me about a week ago, at 150 pounds
Cheat Day
Lastly, I will go over one of the most confusing and fun parts of this diet. The cheat day or ‘fat-kid day’ some call it is vital to this diet. The most important thing to remember is this diet is a day-by-day process. You can only have one cheat day a day. Isn’t that convenient? You can’t cheat more than once a day huh. On your cheat day you can eat anything, seriously, I mean anything and as much of that anything you want. Go crazy, you’ve earned it.
But here are some things you might face while on your non-cheat days. Uh-oh, had too much BBQ sauce. Oh crap, your boss insisted you have a bite of his home-made cookies. This might make you feel like you need to give up and just count this day as a cheat day. No worries.
One meal isn’t going to ruin your carb count. If you flub up on one meal, especially if it’s late in the day, then don’t count it as a cheat day. Only if you really binge or start eating whatever you want from earlier in the day, then count it as a cheat day. You will know you are cheating because you are probably so stuffed and lethargic that you actually feel like you gained weight.
Now, the cheat day is an important part of this process, for a few reasons. First, because it’s psychological. You are rewarding yourself for your hard-work and you are not depriving yourself of some of your favorite foods. Complete restriction typically results in constant and compulsive eating habits.
It also helps you lose weight. Since you have restricted your carb intake what will happen over-time is that your metabolism will slow-down because it doesn’t have a whole of energy to burn anymore. Once you ‘pig-out’ on your cheat day your metabolism will go into work-mode to start breaking down all of those carbs once again. You will be surprised when a day after your cheat day you have lost a whole 5 pounds. It happens, seriously.
The only rule to keeping your cheat day from infringing upon your diet is to not have a cheat day more than 3 days a week. 4 days means that you have eaten horribly for the majority of the week. If for the majority of your time passed is spent eating right, than your body has no choice but to drop the weight. For major weight-loss results keep your cheat day count to under 4 a month, or once a week. But, remember: don’t be so hard on yourself.
Keep Track
What you will keep track of are the days you do cheat. If you have a physical calendar on your wall or one you keep on your smartphone. Whenever you come across a cheat day. Write it in big letters on your calendar. CHEAT DAY. Just so you know which days you cheated and the length of time in between each. That’s all you have to keep track of and its take a minute to write that out.
Also, try to weigh yourself every few days to see how you are coming along with your weights goals. A plus if you manage to take before and after pictures.
Modifications
Notes on skipping breakfast. Some say that skipping breakfast is diet suicide. I find it to work perfectly for me. Why put more food into my body if I’m losing weight and still full of energy?
Do some research. Remember, people can lose weight with all different forms of diet, exercise, and medication. I found my way and am happy to share what has worked for me. I did some reading and came to find that there are no real rules to how many times and what times during the day we are ‘supposed’ to eat.
There is research supporting the benefits of breakfast and small portioned meals spread out about the day, but there is also research supporting skipping meals (especially if you are not hungry). The human body is built to go days without food and our ancestors grew used to this. Convenience is great, but the over availability of cheap food in our culture has led the obesity epidemic America is now carrying on it’s shoulders. So, don’t be afraid to skip a meal. You will grow accustomed to being skinny.
Remember, you don’t need to be thin to meet women (being that this is originally a dating advice blog and all). This is about you. You will feel better. If you feel better, you can easily be more positive and confident. Other people like to be around confident and positive people. If people like to be around you. You become a leader. If you are a leader, you will get benefits. Like attracting women and or getting promotions at work. So there is a correlation, yet remember who you are doing this for. With that said, here’s my diet streamlined…
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The 5 Step No Exercise, No Stress Diet
1. Eat 2-3 Meals a Day. Try to eat only when you are hungry.
2. Protein. Fat. Vegetables. Each meal is allowed these 3 food groups only.
3. Eat as much as you want – of the allowed food groups.
4. Don’t eat or drink carbs. Estimated daily carb intake – under 40 grams
5. Take one cheat day per week – eat as much of whatever you want.
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Don’t worry. You WILL lose at least 10 pounds in a month.
Do not use this diet for more than 4 weeks. I am not a doctor and would be doing a disservice suggesting anymore than 4 weeks. I’m not responsible for your weight loss, it’s on you bucko. Read the terms of service for more.
Remember the diet is as lenient as I could make it, and I express my concerns with modifying the restrictions to your liking. Don’t be afraid to do some more research on your own and creating a new diet tailored to fit your lifestyle and eating habits.
I’d be SUPER happy to hear what you guys came up with and what worked for you or what you are planning to try when it comes to diet and weight loss. Please comment.
More Resources
This post has covered as much as I could without doing more experiments and ultimately writing a book on the subject. But, a few people have asked for resources on low-carb dieting. I’ve looked around and I would absolutely recommend the ’4-Hour Body By Tim Ferris’. The diet I have outlined thus far is a bit different than his plan, yet it’s still a great way to get more insight into low-carb dieting.
Please, if you do decide to purchase this book, use the link below. It will help fund this blog, so I can keep giving you quality content completely for free.
Also, if you have found some good low-carb recipes that I skipped over, please share. I would love to try out some new dishes. Good eating, good-looking 
Wait… hold on. If this post gets enough subscribers I would love to post your before and after pictures and will include your own custom diet plan, your story etc. in a whole new complimentary post.
It’s inspiring to everyone to see how people were able to do it themselves without buying expensive supplements, paying for gym membership and all these things that claim to be the magic bullet to weight loss.
I believe all it takes is time. Focus on changing your eating habits over time. I don’t suggest giving up any other habits though. Don’t try to quit smoking or stop drinking while on this. Try one thing at a time. After you have reached your goal you will have more than enough confidence to accomplish any other goal you have in queue for this beautiful new year. Hello 2012, welcome to my life.
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