Easy Way To Build A Deep Bond on The First Date
Attraction is fleeting. A girl can be so interested and curious about you one second, though the next, she may not even think to glance over your way. It’s just the nature of the game. You can make a woman feel attracted to you, get her number, maybe even go as far as to bring her home.
What’s the point? Without connection, attraction will continue to stay fleeting.
Though if you were to take time to build a deep emotional connection, you will have a bonding experience. Both of you will feel very attached and trusting in each other. This makes attraction concrete.
To make this deep emotional connection, is to build what I call Rapport. To build Rapport there must be a conversation had where both of you are completely understanding of how each other feels.
That means all you have to do is open up about an emotional time in your life and if she can accept what you said, you have done your job. Being able to open-up isn’t the easiest thing to do, since most guys are taught to keep their emotions under wraps. It’s why you may try to open up though end up joking around a lot. This is a serious moment, so there need be no jokes or laughter during Deep Rapport building.
A guy doesn’t open the door up to a dark room and have the girl walk in first. It’s your job to take this seriously because when she decides to open up about her emotions herself (don’t force her into it), she needs to know that you are going to take her seriously too. No one, wants to joke around when they are talking about an event they have a serious emotional connection to.
The whole idea here is to be able to be a good friend. Rapport is a time of conversation, where things aren’t necessarily sexual. It’s more important to be just a good friend here. Now with all that said. You want to direct conversation to a place where not only both of you have strong emotional ties to, but also a hint of sexual tension or intimacy.
I highly suggest you talk about your first girlfriend and first kiss. Now, if you first girlfriend was only a year ago then maybe it’s not such a great idea. Instead, opt for talking about your first crush. But, if your first girlfriend or kiss were back in elementary school or high school even, then it would be great to share the story. Steer the conversation by being able to link topics (which is one of the exercises we practice in my programs). Through linking topics you can go from talking about what her ambitions are over into how was your first kiss.
You can say “So you’re in school studying journalism, that’s really cool. I don’t know how it is for you, but for me, looking back on school one of the things that really stood out was how shy I used to be in elementary school. There was a girl I really liked. So, I left a chocolate bunny under her seat when she wasn’t around so she could find once she came back. I didn’t have the courage to let her know that it was me who gave it to her. Looking back on it now I realize that I was somewhat of a hopeless romantic, thinking that somehow magically she would know it was me. Though I can appreciate it, because it’s the things that we don’t understand that can be the most enjoyable.”
Something to that extent will describe to her how it felt for you. In effect, you are sharing your emotions. An emotion isn’t something said through a word like, mad, sad, happy or glad, instead it’s best described through a story. The story that describes how it was for you to first realize you were attracted to someone doesn’t only do a great job of connecting with her emotionally, but also allowing her to relive the feelings of attraction that she had when she first had a crush on someone. Making her feel that, while with you, she will associate those feeling with you. Allowing her to feel more connected and attracted to you just by sharing an emotional story.
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Always one of the foremost speakers on the topic of Rapport Kevin. I actually had a date with a girl I had contact with for awhile and after joking around during and after a comedy show we got to talking outside. Just by leading her into the “dark room”, she followed and we ended up talking out in the cold for an hour, this after she was wanting to go because of sleep. She keep stretching the conversation after i prompted the good night, so yes Rapport is truly essential to get her thinking about you and existing in her brain long after the laughter bubble drifts away.
Thanks for the added insight Kevin, i remember asking you for a post on this topic and you came through–Good on ya
~Ciao
Franklin
December 2, 2010
such good stuff Kevin, you don’t know how appriciative i am, and i’m sure alot of guys are for you sharing your knowledge with us. thanks!
Anthony R
December 8, 2010
You can always tell an expert! Thanks for cornitbuting.
Viki
January 15, 2012
Also, she has a drawful of Clap tablets that she’s never taken. SICK BITCH!! She looks as though she has just walked out of StarTrek.
elsmart1o
February 16, 2012
Kevin you are a winner – your writing is insightful and sensitive, not at all like a lot of the he-man women haters club dreck out there. I can see why you are successful in this pursuit. it comes through loud and clear that you really appreciate women, don’t just target them.
Well done!
rich n. phaemus
February 7, 2011